Positive Mindset

How is it that sometimes we meet people who just burst out with their positive attitude toward everything and sometimes we get to know these who complain about every aspect of their lives?

When I was thinking deeper about our ability to think in a positive way and how we can learn it, it occurred to me there had to be, for a certain amount of time, a person present in our childhood who would show us how to always look on the bright side of life. In my case that was my father. Even though my relationship with him got a bit toxic, but when I look back at my childhood I remember him showing me the world through travels, sending me to English classes that in 1990s in Poland were extremely expensive, comforting me when something went wrong and making me search for the silver lining in every situation. In the same he also taught me an incredible responsibility for my actions.

After my 3 years of therapy and knowing some friends who also attend theirs, I noticed they did not become happier. I know the therapy’s aim is not to change anyone’s attitude toward life from negative into a positive one, but to get to know yourself better and in most cases stop hurting yourself subconsciously. Yet I noticed that the way my friends were unhappy with their lives before the therapy, they are still unhappy after it. Now they are more conscious about their unhappiness. So where comes this incredible positive attitude toward life in some of the people from? My observation is that it must have been taught from others. There just had to happen a person in our early days who would show us their optimism, easy-going personality and positive mindset. Only by observing such a person we were able to learn how to stay optimists.

I remember a one girl I met through Couchsuring who I spent with 2 weeks traveling in Asia. It was supposed to be an amazing time – Taiwan and Philippines with her and then South Korea on my own. Unfortunately what I noticed about her behaviour was that she compared everything to Thailand she visited a year before. While traveling around Taiwan she did not like the landscape, the food, the beaches etc. With the Philippines it was the same. I felt like telling her one day to buy the tickets and immediately fly to Thailand if she loved it that much. Anyway I shut up and just backed off. And after a while we were sharing only a hotel room and spending the days on our own. It was a good lesson for me to be learnt:

Never go traveling with a person you know so little
Just because someone attended psychoanalysis does not mean they are able to appreciate life
Stay away from negativity and toxic people

I remember I was so happy when going on my Asian trip. Gee, I flew 8000 km and visited 3 countries in 3 days! 3 new cultures, many Couchsurfing experiences, meeting incredible people, sleeping in strangers’ houses – imagine in Taiwan out of 8 nights 5 we spent Couchsurfing!, making new friendships and experiencing amazing landscapes! I was able to live through these 3 amazing weeks! Yet I chose an improper person to share my positive emotions with. Now I know I will never do that to myself again.

I consider myself a very positive. Whatever happens and has a negative impact on my life I try to look for a silver lining every time. I think every situation will teach me a lesson, and I do not want to stay negative, but rather think of good aspects of every story. What I have also learnt is that positive mindset has to be taught to us. It does not come itself. It is possible to try to change our way of thinking, but that is a very long way. It is easier when there was a person in our surroundings showing us good aspects of life and in the same teaching us how to appreciate it while we were young. It really helps! Now I am grateful to my father who, even though was showing his miserable attitude sometimes, managed to teach me that life can be amazing and it is only up to me what I do with it! 🙂

Sex and Warsaw City

I have lately realized that I like ruining stereotypes. The one I have just ruined concerns relationships. Usually it is considered quite normal for an older guy to be dating a very young girl. I’m not going to speak of the exact age while they are dating, because it doesn’t matter, what matters the most is the age difference between two people. When it comes to a woman, dating much younger guy is not considered to be accepted and normal within the society we happen to be surrounded by. So I got involved, a few months ago, into a relationship with a guy 14 years younger than me 🙂 I am 35, he is 21. We are both quite young though. At the beginning I also got a bit attached to the stereotype and considered him too young for a relationship. I falsely assumed I am too old for him and we probably wouldn’t get along. However seeing him as a friend was not a big problem for me. Why? Why would I be able to make him one of my friends, but when it comes to love affair I was stopping myself from any emotional involvements? But then I changed my way of thinking as I followed my heart. I need to admit this relationship was one of the best ones I have ever created! From the moment we met, we had lots of things in common, lots of subjects to discuss, lots of similar interests, and there was this amazing chemistry between us that you don’t get with everybody. The only thing stopping me from having sex with this guy was his age! We felt so at ease with each other that we could spend all night talking about life, exchanging our points of view and sharing life experience. So after a few days I realized there is no way I’m going to control myself more as I felt an incredible emotional connection between us. The question arose – why would I discipline myself and hide the feelings I had toward this guy just because of the age difference? There is 14 years difference between, so what?! 🙂 When I compare him to some of the guys I happened to date and were a bit older than me – around 40, I found them so immature, insecure, not understanding my emotions and acting like kids, that I did not want to get into any relationships with them. Yet they were older what seems fine for the judgmental society. However their ego and insecurity made me realize I do not want to stick to such men. And then comes into my life this 21-year-old, brings peace and quiet, is emotionally well-balanced and doesn’t fight any battles inside himself. I feel and see how easy-going, relaxed and cheerful this person is and then I start wondering how come such a young guy can be so matured compared to much older ones that I totally do not want to date?!In one of an interview with a psychologist I read that women tend to get along best with men who lived in symbiosis with their mothers. My latest experience only proves this theory right! Do not interpret it that these mothers were overprotective, it only means they were able to create and be in a healthy emotional relationship with their sons. So thank you these types of mothers – you are really doing a great job!

After a few days I spent with him I realized I’m not going to stick into this stereotype and stop myself from having sex with him only because I’m much older. I felt shouldn’t be doing that only because from a 35-year-old woman you would expect decency. What a crap! 🙂 I listened to myself, followed my emotions and do not regret every single minute of it, because I spent the most incredible time with him full of love, calmness, interesting conversations, amazing sex, chemistry, passion, and tenderness. 🙂 It only leaves me with wanting more of him and his incredible well-balanced personality. Even though he had to leave, as he was only visiting Warsaw for a few weeks, I will never forget him and will try the see him again as soon as possible.

What is very important to me in this story is that I ruined another stereotype in my life. That is that a woman can get involved in a relationship with a much younger guy and it can work out! It is only a matter of personality when it comes to people we meet and invite into our lives, not a matter of age. It doesn’t mean the older you are the smarter you get. That is bullshit! We, as people, tend to judge everything – relationships, the way others act and think, their opinions, their way of life and many other things. I know the only person that can live and feel my life is myself. I have always liked doing things in a totally different way the society tells to do. In this case, if I listened to another stereotype I would have never allowed myself to get involved with 21-year-old and I would have never experienced such a wonderful relationship. The best was for me to listen to myself, my needs, my emotions and follow my heart. 🙂 I wish he didn’t leave, I wish he stayed longer, yet I know he has his plans for life and we managed to meet only for a certain amount of time. I’m grateful I allowed myself to make the best use of this time and gained in return not only another life experience, but a lot of love, respect and tenderness! I know now that men I want to build relationships with, must be the ones that don’t have any problems with their egos and are well-balanced. I love learning through my own actions and need to say I don’t care what the society says. I am aware I might be judged, but these who do not allow themselves to live a real life will never experience what I had with this 14 years old younger guy! 🙂 So thank you my life for this incredible experience!

Polish Girl Independence

This month there was 100th Independence anniversary of Poland and such a celebration made me wonder what it means to me? Poland disappeared from the world map for 123 years. Only after the First World War it gained its independence back. How about its people? How about me? What does it mean to be independent?

For me independence, and in the same freedom, is the ability to make my own decisions, deal with its consequences, and most importantly – not to be judged as well as lead the life I want to live. When I have a good look at Polish history, my analysis brings me to a conclusion that during the communist times I would never be able to buy my own flat and live on my own! I would need to get married to leave my parens home. It wouldn’t mean to live only with the husband and starting a new family with him, probably I would need to move from my parents’ to my husband‘s family as during these times it was not at all easy to get your own apartment. You had to sign up a wating list and wait a few long years to be assigned one. Of course it was not even certain you would! I remember in the flat of 54 m², where I spent my childhood, were living three generations: my grandparents, my parents, me and my brother. Three rooms – three separate ones – each for one of the generations. Nowadays, when I compare the conditions I spent my childhood in with the ones I live now, it shows me how my perception of having my own space changed. I live in a flat of 48 m² and cannot imagine having a kid there. However I remember spending my childhood and sharing a room with my brother of 9 m². We managed, there was no other way. I remember I envied my friends who, when living with their parents and their siblings, still had their own room. For me that meant they had their own space and were allowed some privacy. I can’t say I had such an opportunity. That is probably why now I need a lot of my own space and privacy. In my opinion everybody needs it. We need to have our own corner where we are able to calm ourselves down and know that is the only place no one else has access to without our permission.

From one hand independence and freedom for me is to have my own physical space in life. On the other hand it is also making my own decisions without being judged. I tend to claim that the only person, at the end of each day, that is allowed do judge me in any way – is myself.

I also think that I happen to live in the most incredible times! Yes!!! Amazing ones 🙂 I can travel as much as I can, and where I want, as long my budget allows me to do so. I think money is just money, these can always be earned. The most important is that I can choose whatever destination, then take a flight and just go! 🙂 Isn’t that lovely? Within a few hours I can be on the other side of the globe! I wouldn’t be able to do so, in such an easy way, during the communist times. Luckily I was only seven when capitalism arrived to Poland and I don’t really remember a lot from communism. I think with my free spirit and eager to travel, meeting international people, visiting as many places as possible, I would feel a prisoner in Poland about 40 years ago. I am incredibly happy living in a free country now that allows me to buy my own flat, to make my own decisions, keep the passport at home and use it whenever I want it, to host foreigners, to observe how the city I was born in and live is changing and how colourful blocks of flats are becoming as well as notice how many tourists are coming to visit Poland. I am amazed how much Warsaw, the capital, grately changed during only 28 years of capitalism. Looks like freedom also means development.

Independence is something you cannot buy in my opinion. It is something you need to fight for, like I was fighting to buy my own flat that brought a lot of autonomy into my life. Nobody controls who I am inviting into it and in the same into my life. If I was still living with my parents, they would see who I am meeting and most probable they would make their own observations and comments about my friends I would not really want to listen to. I do not like being controlled by anyone or judged, even if these people are parents who do not wish me bad. As a grown-up I know, and I am aware, that the only person responsible for my life is myself. I stick to my beliefs, try to make reasonable decisions, and if some occur to be wrong I deal with the consequences, so I only try to make these that don’t hurt. 😉 Apart from living on my own, making my own decisions and sharing my positive emotions with others, taking responsibility for myself is the biggest independence and freedom I have ever achieved in my life. Even though capitalism may not be one the best systems, it gave me the possibility to have at least a bit of autonomy in this crazy, egoistic and commercialized world. 🙂

73-year-old Couchsurfer

Can you imagine how surprised I was when a few weeks ago I received a request to host a 73-year-old woman?! I consider the couchsurfing website as the one mostly used by quite young people, aged 20 to 40. This time however, and for the first time in my whole couchsurfing adventure, I received a request from an old woman! Unfortunately I need use such an adjective as “old” because there is no better equivalent. I accepted her even though I had some doubts if we get along. And again another person brought new perceptions and a lot of new ideas into my life! 🙂 What makes her amazing is that she learnt English only when she was 40, as her biggest dream was to visit the United States. She managed to do so, and even worked for a whole year there. She started travelling once her two sons grew up and moved out to make their own families. In my opinion it was her second chance to make the most of her life. In her case the statement in which some claim that life begins after 40 makes sense and proves it right 🙂 While observing her I noticed only the generation gap between us, especially when it comes to technology. However she made me so surprised and amazed with her eagerness to travel, willingness to get to know the world, being incredibly open-minded, having such a free spirit as well as using couchsurfing both ways – to be hosted in strangers’ houses and hosting others.

Usually 70 something people are considered more as grandparents who usually stay home, watch TV, do some crosswords, take care of grandchildren and tend to have many illnesses. She was completely not that type! She is a great example that at any age you can fulfill your dreams, only if you really want them to happen. In my opinion it takes a lot of courage to travel alone when you are a pensioner. On the other hand she made me wonder who I will be by the age of 70? First of all will I still be alive, second of all will I still be travelling alone? Will I be in good physical condition to travel? Will I be willing to be hosted by strangers? Will I still be hosting? She made me wonder a bit about my future and where my life experience may lead me.

I think the most important is that she brought a lot of positive energy into my life and shows an amazing example that it is only a matter of strong personality and willingness to achieve your goal – the age cannot even stop you! I realized I only want to be surrounded by such amazing people who show me there are no boundaries in anyone’s life and the only one who can stop us from fulfilling our dreams is ourselves, our fear of failure and million excuses! 🙂

When Enough is Really Enough?

I was wondering lately what does it mean to have enough. When enough is really enough? And what does it mean to have enough in life?

I started analyzing it was after hearing in a radio a commercial created for one of a discount shop in Poland. The guys there were singing about buying more and again buying more. It made me then wonder when it will be enough? Not only for them, but mostly for myself. What enough means for each of us? What is enough for me? Do I still want more? Do I really need more? Or do I have enough?

In my case enough was buying my own flat, even though I am still paying the mortgage for it. I can’t say I need a bigger one or I would like to buy a house – that would mean not having enough and still wanting more. Do I want more? No I don’t. So I think I have fulfilled my need of having enough. 🙂 By realizing this fact I am now able to enjoy my “enough” fulfilled dream 🙂

However what is enough for others? Have they reached their enough level? Will they ever have enough? Will they always want more or will they get into the point when they will finally have enough? Will they even enjoy their enough? Or are we, as human beings, will always be wanting more and will never have enough? Is this happening because of the society always requiring from us to have and want more? Do we feel better by buying more and more things we usually don’t need that much, but the commercials we see around and on every corners are so convincing, that we believe we don’t have enough and shall want more?

For me enough is to have a nice and warm flat; to fulfill my basic needs as having something to eat and a central heating for the winter; to afford incredible and adventurous travels; read an interesting and educating books; go to the cinema or theatre once in a while; meet and talk to interesting people over a glass of wine or a beer from time to time and exchange our points of view about life; host some foreigners and learn from them their way of life; and the most important – to feel free. Kind of basic needs I would say 🙂

Summing up I need to admit I have reached my enough level. It makes me feel happy in my life 🙂 How about you? Have you reached your enough level? Or are you still searching to get an answer of what enough means in your life?

Psychoanalysis – to Go or Not to Go?

Why did I decide to go to a therapy and what is its result? There were three reasons for me to do so. The first one was the toxic relationship I was involved in with in and out for the past 20 years, the second was my friend who encouraged for me to do so by revealing his life story and a nasty divorce, and the third one was a new manager at work I couldn’t completely get along with.

So I searched the Internet for a good psychologist. At the beginning I did not know if she was good or not, yet I decided to give it a try. It’s been around three years I am going to the therapy and now I know it was the best decision I have ever made. Quite an expensive one though. The whole therapy and revealing the biggest subconscious secrets from your life to a stranger, and in the same time realising them yourself, made me more self-aware, more conscious, and more intelligent. I do admit at the beginning it was painful and I remembered many evenings after the sessions that ended up in tears. Anyway the pain was worth it. Now I am able to lead a very conscious life and the relationships I am building with others are more honest, sincere and real.

In my opinion not everyone had toxic parents, yet there are always things in our minds we are not aware of and in some cases they may lead our subconscious resulting in making decisions that hurt us. And later on we keep asking ourselves why did we do that to us?

I knew that I was always doing a lot of analysing and I loved thinking why things happen and what was the reason for them to happen, and the psychoanalysis helped me in putting all of my thoughts together and getting a result out of it. It also gave me knowledge how to analyse my dreams. Previously when there was a person in my dream I knew like a friend, or a parent, or an aunt, or somebody else, I always thought the dream was about them. Now I know it was always about me. These people were only symbols reflecting my subconscious. Once I learnt how to read them, I know what my subconscious wants to tell me. And I listen to it as it has an incredible power.

I was always interested in psychology, so thanks to the therapy I got to know how my brain works, read a lot of interesting books that helped me to understand the emotional part of human being that I was never really able to show because of my toxic mother and became smarter. I have also learned what my parents were through in their childhood. That made me realise the way they treated me wasn’t because they wanted to hurt me deliberately, but it was the result of their unsolved emotions along with their childhood issues. As a small kid I was an easy target to suck all of their toxic emotions as I did not know how to protect myself from these. Now I do and now I do not allow others to cross my boundaries. I do feel sorry for what my parents have been put throughout their early lives, yet I think they were not allowed to hurt me the way they did. On the other hand I’m grateful for what happened because it made me an amazing, strong and independent woman who knows how to enjoy life and is not afraid of living 🙂 It only proves the relationships we have with our parents are always difficult to judge and to be in. Now I’m trying to rebuild and learn how to create a healthy relationship with my father. I am aware I’ll never have a normal one with my mother, because it’s just not possible, and it will never be as she ended up mentally sick.

Coming back to the clue, in my opinion it is worth going to the therapy. The only factor that may stop you is the fear of getting to know the truth with the whole pain that goes with it. Once you deal with the pain, in return you get consciousness, honesty, self-awareness and then you can do whatever you want with that knowledge. I chose to be happy, to enjoy every day life and being grateful that even though my childhood was not a perfect one and my parents occurred to be weak human beings, I managed to grow up a wonderful person who loves to live, loves people and appreciates small things that every day life bring 🙂 Thanks to the therapy I am able not to hurt people the way I was probably doing subconsciously. And not to hurt the person I love the most – that is myself 🙂

Travelling Perception

I have been thinking lately how my way of travelling changed during the past few years. I am not counting the time when I was 19 and left Poland for 3 years to live in France, but the time when I came back, started my professional career at the age of 22 and started travelling. At the beginning it was just for holiday once a year, later on a few times per year. I remember my first holiday – it was Rodos, a Greek island. And an organized trip Crap, did I really do that?! Did I really buy an organized trip by a travel agency? Was I that lazy? Yeah, I did it I do not blame myself for that, it was just easy. I was young, did not have much experience in travelling, not mentioning traveling on my own, and wanted to go abroad. But ss they say – there always has to be the first time for everything. It came, a bit later on when I made some observations about traveling and decided how I really want to travel.

Travelling with an agency is simple – they organize everything for you and you do not need to worry about anything. My opinion now is that even though it is that simple, you might miss a lot. First of all – if you buy an all-inclusive trip you will not eat outside and taste local cuisine as you are provided with the food in the hotels’ restaurants, so what is the point of spending more money to try local cuisine? You have already paid quite a lot for you trip, haven’t you? Second of all – you will probably not move from the hotel. And again – you have paid already for accommodation, so what is the point of going to and exploring another place as you already have what you need. Third of all – you are so lazy to make an effort to organize a trip on your own that you make it the easiest way possible and just stay in one place the whole holiday. My question is – so what is the point of traveling if you want to stay only in one place, eat and drink just because you paid for it? You can eat and drink at home too, can’t you? 😉 These are the observations based mostly on myself. I used to travel like that a bit, luckily only a few times. It happened I went to all-inclusive trip 3 times in my life. I visited already 20 counties so far and some of them more than once. That means most of my trips were prepared by myself and for myself 🙂 In Greece I was 8 times already and I know it is not the end 🙂 So in general out of around 50 times I flew abroad, only 3 were all-inclusive. However my way of travelling changed so much over these past few years.

These all-inclusive trips are not such a bad idea if you know how to make most of them. However in my opinion these are usually used to go abroad, especially to a warm country, stay in a hotel for a week, get drunk every night, eat a few times a day, go to a beach, and have fun. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just it is not my style of travelling at all! I want to explore the place I am in, meet new people, either locals of foreigners; try local food; get on a local bus and admire the views; organize everything on my own – book the hotel I want to stay in, Airbnb or a much better option – Couchsurfing; eat in local restaurants, see how local people live and work there. Yet that way of traveling took a bit of time for me to learn. Now I mostly travel on my own. To be free. To feel free. To get the emotions travels give me – like getting lost and finding the way out, or making my brain work quickly in finding a solution no matter what might happen. And adventures always happen when you travel 🙂 People I meet on my way are always helpful and amazing. Those I met through Couchsurfing will stay in my heart forever as they teach me and show me that all of us, around the world are good, warm, and open-hearted 🙂 If I was only traveling through all-inclusive trips I would never experience such incredible places and meet such great people. It required a bit of courage for a lonely, young girl to pack one day and say to herself – ok, I am doing it on my own, I do not need a companion, we will see what world has for me to offer and hell yeah, I am going on my solo trip! 🙂 I do not even member now what country I chose for my first lonely trip, yet I gave myself a chance to do so and knew I could make it on my own. No regrets at all! The best decision I ever made! Now, when I want to travel I just buy a fight ticket, make a plan for my trip and off I go. I do not search for people to keep me company, the best company I am already in , and that is myself 🙂

I do remember, at the beginning, that I felt a bit ashamed to sit in a restaurant and have dinner on my own. As if I needed company, either male or female, does not matter who, but there had to be someone with me. As if I was not allowing myself to have a meal on my own, as if I would be judged by the society that I am a single girl nobody wanted to go on holiday with. So, I felt, there had to be something wrong with me, right? Now I know the only thing that was wrong, was my way of thinking. Everything is totally ok with me. I have right to sit in a restaurant and eat on my own. I have right to travel on my own. I have right to see all of the places I want to see on my own. I have right to be on my own! 🙂 I do not need others to make me feel good, because my mood depends only on myself. If I do not feel good with myself, no one will make me feel better, not even a traveling companion. Another thing I have learnt – how I manage my emotions is the key to my happiness. The truth is I never feel lonely while travelling – there is always nature right next to me, there are always amazing views surrounding me, there are always people around even though they are strangers, there are always thing happening 🙂 And I love walking around in a foreign country, admiring life happening there, enjoying every single moment, tasting coffee and food, seeing how people rush to work or relax by the beach. I think life is amazing, and the only thing you need to do is wanting to see it that way. Not being afraid of being on your own with your own thoughts is another succesful key if you want to travel alone 🙂 I stick to that. No more all-inclusive trips in such case 🙂 Just experiencing beautiful life happening around every single day!

A girl – a Lonely Traveler

Why I am travelling alone? Is it still such a strange thing to see a girl who travels on her own? Lots of my friends tend to admire me for doing such a thing. And for me it is not a big thing. I just want to do it, and I am doing it!

From the beginning now 🙂 I think it was my dad who subconsciously encouraged me to travel. I remember when I was young he was reading me to sleep “Gulliver’s travels”. It might have been that time my mind started getting used to the idea of traveling. When I was 19 I left Poland and went living as an au-pair girl in Paris for a few years. I need to mention I did not speak French at all then. I spoke English, yet those who know a bit of French culture will immediately figure out knowing English was not much of a help 🙂 I leant French there. Brave, isn’t it? As some may claim that going to a foreign country may be risky for such a young girl, I think it was just an adventure for a 19-year-old girl. It taught her how to manage in such a cosmopolitan city like Paris. It was 2002. In Poland capitalism was only 13 years old, and even though the capital and the country itself was quickly developing, it was nothing in comparaison to a 12 million Ile-de-France region. My 3 years adventure of living in France taught me only amazing skills, like: becoming very independent and more tolerant, counting only on myself, managing in all kinds of situations and finding out what freedom means to me. I am now not afraid of buying flight tickets and going abroad alone. I would even say I love it! What I love about traveling alone is that I do not need to compromise on anything. I go to places I want to see and visit. I do not need to ask anyone for their opinion or plans for the trip or for the day. It may sound egoist, and yes I am aware of it. Yet I prefer to travel alone than in a bad company. Most of us know how hard it is to find a good companion, especially when it comes to traveling. People have different needs and expectations. In my life there are only 2 people I am willing to travel with – my father and one of my girlfriends. The reason I can fly with them is that they know some unpredictable things and situations will happen and they do not panic then. They are both chilled out and relaxed, they love enjoying life, so if we feel like sitting in a café and drinking some, we just do so. Both of them do not care about money that much, so we are not counting penny for each meal in a restaurant or each souvenir that we buy to know how much we have left. Of course we are being reasonable and not wasting money on stupid things, just enjoying every single moment of our journey. Rest of my friends do not travel the same way I do, so there is no point going anywhere with them, as it would be only waste of my energy.

What does the travelling alone give me? Lots of positive emotions. Facing challenges. Proving myself I am invincible. Crossing my boundaries. Realizing I am amazing. I love the feeling of getting on a plane, then landing in a foreign country and the story begins – finding myself, asking for direction, searching for places I want to visit, tasting different food, enjoying sunsets and sunrises, admiring landscapes, listening to the sound of sea, ocean and wind. Feeling the universe, understanding it, being grateful for such an opportunity of being where I happen to be. This is what I get when I travel. All range of positive emotions. And people I meet on my way are amazing too: couchsurfers, pedestrians, other tourists. They are always helpful and always making me smile.

Many times, here in Poland, I heard my friends saying that traveling alone is not such a common thing, especially for a girl. I keep wondering why? Are women afraid of doing so and being alone? Are we still thinking only by having with someone around our life has a meaning? Are Polish women still brought up the way they need a man to take care of them, as they are a weaker sex and need protection? Really, are they? If so in my opinion they are missing a lot. Especially their freedom, as they have resigned from it in order to get a false sense of security provided by men. I am aware I am a grown up, does not matter a girl or a boy, as an adult human being I know I am responsible for myself. No one else! At least that is the philosophy of life of a Polish girl who travels alone 🙂 And loves doing it! There are so many amazing places for me to see and I cannot wait to buy another ticket after my 8^th Greek holiday this year I am starting soon 🙂 I am sure the moment I come back I will be googling some other flights to places I have never been before. In my opinion we are living in such amazing times and the world is so open to any of those who are willing to take the most of it. And I am one of them 🙂 I want 100% of this world! I know the opportunity is there, just waiting for me to take it. So why would I be like most of Polish girls waiting for their price charm to arrive, when I have millions of flight routes to choose from and still at least 100 countries to visit! I may be egoist, I may not be adapting to society by not having a family and kids, yet I am happy in every single day of my life as thanks to my travels I am such and my open-minded person that has so and many plans for the future! Not only these concerning traveling of course 🙂

Philippines

One of my this year’s holiday destination was the Philippines. I wanted to visit the country after reading, a few months ago, a reportage. It was describing people living there on the cemetery. It sounded terrible and made a big impression on me, especially because there were some moving photos assigned to it. I knew it was only describing the worst part of the country as well as the society that allows such things to happen. Anyway I decided to check how life looks like on the islands. And moreover it’s a good destination for holidays, because it’s always warm there. Not only warm, cheap too!

Before going there I did a bit of a research, because of malaria existence in some parts of the islands, and my plan was not only staying in the capital. About Manila I can only say that I totally don’t recommend it. I heard a lot of bad things about the city, and these occurred to be true. Terrible traffic jams, lots of poverty around every corner, people wanting only to screw you, lack of sense of security and many other negative experiences about the city

However when it comes to islands, all went just fine 🙂

From the beginning now. I landed on an international airport in Manila and immediately flew to Tagbilaran, a city in Bohol, the island I spent some time on. They impression about the airport is that the international one looks quite similar to all of the international airports, however the domestic one is very tiny. There are only four gates, and so many flights taking off to all of the Filipino islands, that it is incredibly crowded and it is hard to find a place to sit. I had an impression of being kind of loaded to a plane and then taken to my destination. Apart from that the plane was on time, everything went smoothly, just the size of the airport and amount of people crowding there was stunning.

About Tagbilaran and Bohol island I can only say good things and I really enjoyed my stay there. The island is connected by two bridges to another one – Panglao that has to offer many interesting beaches. Mostly the islands are about the beaches. When you are on holiday, in a warm country, on an island, you usually sunbathe and rest by the ocean. Both islands, Bohol and Panglao, offer scuba-diving, trips around the area and many touristic attractions. I went on a daily trip where in the scope I had attractions like: sightseeing of Chocolate Hills – a very popular spot in the island located in the middle of it. They do make an impression as the view is amazing when you climb one and then have a view around others. Then we were taken to a place where I could see some small monkeys, later on there was a cruise on a river Loboc with lunch on a boat! Next stop was crossing the bridge made of wood, that was really moving when you’re walking on it, visiting a zoo where I could hold and touch a snake! I really touched it, even though it was terribly scary. There was also a quick stop in the middle of a forest, just to take some pictures as the trees there are incredibly tall what is impressive. There was one thing for people who like to have their adrenaline flowing quickly in their veins 🙂 As far as I recall it was called Zipo-line. You could cross or rather fly from one spot to another. You lay down, are being zipped in a straitjacket and just fly between two hills seeing a stream just below and incredibly green landscape of forest around. I did it! It was fun, it was safe, it was good 🙂 If I could I would do it again and take my mobile with me this time to register the view. The whole trip took one day, from 10 AM until 6 PM. In my opinion it was totally inexpensive. To be driven by van, quite a modern one, to all of the above mentioned spots, the trip cost 400 pesos – that is about 7 euros!!! For the entrance to all of these places I had to pay additionally. That day I spent around €25 and my day was full of attractions!

When it comes to Bohol itself, I need to admit I felt safe there. Nobody cheated me, nobody wanted more for a taxi that it should be, nobody harmed me. I did not catch malaria! Before going on holiday I went to a doctor who told me in the Philippines there is malaria. It sounded as if was to catch it immediately if I do not take the drugs she prescribed me. Anyway I did the research on my own and then decided that I’m not going to ruin my liver and take these pills. First of all they are incredibly expensive and do not guarantee you will not catch malaria, they only guarantee when it happens, you will not die. I checked the WHO website to see how malaria issue looks like in the region I was going to visit. Then realised there’s no point taking the pills. Most of the time I was going to spend on a beach anyway. I always listen to myself and I always try to be reasonable. In that case the decision I made was a good one. So if you are planning to visit some Filipino islands, not going on a mission, staying in hotels and not in the middle of forests, I do not think taking pills against malaria is necessary.

When it comes to the beaches on these two islands I need to say they were not that impressive. They look okay, quite pretty, and the view is totally amazing. However there are so many shelves by the coast, that you need to be careful when you are getting into the water. The water was really clean and just sitting by the ocean and admiring the view was something I will always remember 🙂 Was it a big WOW? Not it was not, it was just nice.

In my opinion the islands are really good spots to go on holiday, if you want to relax, enjoy good food, feel okay, and get yourself into a real holiday mood. I’m not a person that would look for trouble or hang out after dark, or get drunk, taking into consideration the fact I am travelling alone. During the day, on the beaches and in the city everything was okay. 100% safe. However I can’t say the same about the capital. I really don’t like Manila and don’t want to come back there. It was because I got cheated by a taxi driver and I do not like the fact of taking advantage of me just because I am a tourist. I do understand that the country is cheap, because it really is, but it doesn’t allow its citizens to cheat. That’s unfortunetely what happens when you travel in underdeveloped countries. It did not happen on the islands. I think it is because the islands are very touristic and they usually live from tourism, even the internal ones. In Manila however I paid four times more for a taxi that I should have. First of all what I’ve learned about the taxis is that you take a white one, because they are metered. The yellow ones are usually the ones that have no meter and can take whatever price they want. So be careful. I even heard a story of taking from a passenger, for quite a short trip, around 2000 peso. That is a lot, about 40 euros! I only paid 600 instead of 150 I should’ve. The taxi’s meter was running like crazy. 10 euros for 15km ride is not a lot some may say, and I agree, but I don’t agree with the fact that the local would pay four times less what I paid, just because I am a tourist. Overall I am happy I only stayed one day in the capital. Honestly there is nothing to see there, except for the poverty that you see on every corner and the traffic jam. A good thing was that I met a great person from Couchsurfing. We spent a lovely evening in the Mall of Asia chatting about life over a meal.

Overall about the Philippines my impression is that it is a good place to go. If you’re going to one of the islands, or to some of them, skip Manila. The country is cheap, you can have a really good rest for not a big amount of money. I think it is one of the cheapest countries I have visited so far!

One thing that made me wonder and started to be annoying after a while was the fact that the Filipinos were always calling me ma’am. Is that because they were colonised by the Americans? Is that because they felt inferior to me? Is that because they wanted to be polite? Is that because that’s how they show respect to another person? I still don’t know the answer to this question. Sometimes when I was shopping and paying for the groceries in the shop or other stuff I’d prefer to hear a simple “thank you” than “thank you ma’am” as if I was a madam myself not a tourist and a normal human being.

Taiwan Round Trip

Why did I choose Taiwan as one of my holiday destinations and why it is worth going there? Because of two Couchsurfing girls that talked about it in such an awe and amazement that I decided I will check myself if they are right. Both were Taiwanese what explains why they wanted to promote their country. I wanted to see if Taiwan, as for me a separate country, is really worth seeing and I would cancel the rest of my trip and stay there for a month, as some people do according to the girls. Well…it is a nice place to visit, but I did not cancel my holiday plans and stayed longer there. Overall I spent 8 in Taiwan during which I managed to do a round trip. The island is about 400km long, what is not really that much.

I started with Taipei, the capital. When I landed the 1^st thing for me to do was to get a SIM card and then the transportation one. EasyCard used for the local transport is an amazing invention. You just charge it and then use for subway or buses, not only in Taipei, but also in other cities. Another one I visited was Taizhong, and the card worked there too! At the airport I was also waiting for my friend to arrive, so I had about 4 hours to figure everything out. Getting a SIM card is a peace of cake 🙂 I am lost without google maps and addicted to Internet, so I need such a card immediately 🙂

The first day in a new place is always kind of getting to know it, so I cannot say I did a lot of sightseeing back then. However the 2^nd day was more intense. I was supposed to meet the couchsurfing people who accepted me for 2 nights, only at 9pm. That means I had the whole day of wandering around the city. I left my luggage in a locker at a central station, what was not difficult to use and find a free one. Then I started to walk around the city. When I travel I prefer to walk a lot than use subway, as in such a way I see much more. When you are underground you cannot admire the landscape. Taipei as a capital is well-developed and you can easily move around within it once you get to know how the transportation works. What I mostly love about Asian countries, is that there are so many parks surrounded by the skyscrapers, that it creates an amazing view for me! I just love sitting down on a bench in a park and admire the view around.

That was the 1^st sightseeing day around the central station area, Peace Memorial Park, The Chang Kai-Sheka mausoleum, DaAn Park, Taipei 101 building and Tamsui district – north Taipei – a place full of street food, situated by the river with calm and relaxed atmosphere. You can feel you are a bit outside of the city, that is quite busy when you are in the center, as most of the cities are. That day I did 18 km by foot. At 9 pm I met the couchsurfing couple that was supposed to host me and the evening I spent with them was about exchanging life experiences. Like most of people who do couchsurfing, there are interesting human beings and very international as I was hosted by a Serbian guy and his Taiwanese girlfriend. As the guy is European, between me and him there were not a lot of differences. He’s working in Taipei as a programmer and speaks Chinese! That is great! I have never met a European (till that day) that learnt and uses on daily basics Chinese or any other Asian language. Just the thought of learining all of these symbols makes my head spin 😉 In my opinion most of young people now work in IT, and in his case it’s incredible he came all the way from Europe to study Chinese a few years ago, then met his girlfriend and now he is living and working in Taiwan. The only thing he was complaining about was the traffic jam. During the peak hours, in many European cities, especially capitals, you also get it, so not a big deal for me. The evening with them was an interesting one, and exactly what I expect from couchsurfing, as for me this whole concept is not only about free accommodation, but a way to get to know new people with whom I can share my life experience&observations and in return they share theirs. The flat they were living in was quite old with a very interesting architecture, I would say built around 1950s or 1960s. That’s also another advantage of couchsurfing, as instead of staying in a hotel, I am able to see how normal people live and work in a different country. It’s so great they are willing to share a bit of their life with you and I am grateful I was able to see Taipei through locals 🙂

The next day, that would be my third day in the capital, I went to Yangmingshan National Park. It is situated a bit north from Taipei, but it only takes just a subway and a bus to get there. Unfortunately it was raining that day, so it ruined my trip a bit. What I noticed about the rain in Taiwan is that when it happens it’s just unpleasant. It was April, quite warm, so I cannot say I was terribly cold, couldn’t see anything during my trip and was looking for a place to hide. I knew that probably next time I will not come back to Taiwan that quickly, so I wanted to make the most of it. F*** the rain! 🙂 I said to myself that even though it is raining, I am still sightseeing the park. I went inside, walked around and I did not allow any of the bad weather to ruin my holiday! I had an umbrella anyway 🙂 Yangmingshan National Park is a nice place to visit, and I would call it just a green park that you can relax in from a big city life. There were some waterfalls, lots of amazing paths to walk by and many green areas surrounding it. Morover everything was so beautiful because of the spring season! The rain made its nature even greener than it usually is. I spent there just a few hours as unfortunately it did not stop raining after 10 minutes Yeah, wishful thinking… Waiting for the rain to finish wasn’t a good idea, so I just took a bus down to the city center, where to my surprise, it wasn’t raining. The rest of the day I spent wandering around different Taipei districts.

In the evening I went to see Taipei 101, very popular and one of the highest buildings. The tower is about 500m and when you look at it, it makes an impression of being created from boxes that are put one on another. An amazing building with an impressive view, especially during the evening when it gets dark and you can see how the city looks like with all of its lights on. That day was a bit cloudy, so I could even observe the clouds going through the building. I mean they were literally passing through the building, what also made an incredible impression!

My next stop was Hualien, just about 200 km from Taipei and I chose the city because it was close to another National Park I wanted to see. I managed to find couchsurfing there too, a guy that could host me for two nights. This time the person was a Taiwanese student, and it was a new experience for me to sleep on a floor, on a mattress that was incredibly thin. Anyway I have to admit finding people who would host me there was very easy and very quick. Was it because I am European? I never really asked hosts why they accepted me. So the next day I woke up very early, because I wanted to get the first bus that goes from Hualien to the national park. It was at seven in the morning. To do so I left the flat around 6 a.m. This is called travelling and not wasting a single minute! 🙂

The bus that goes into the Taroko National Park is very convenient, because it has several stops there and you only need a daily ticket to move within the park. It goes around every hour, what seems to be not that often, but when you are sightseeing all these touristic spots in the park, you find it easy to catch the bus back or to another spot. The only thing that happened during that day was that the bus stopped in the middle of the park. There were some works being done on the rocks. It may happen that not everything goes smoothly when you travel. Sometimes you may get stuck in a place for some time. I knew it was only for my safety, so I didn’t get angry because I’m aware that in such places security and protecting tourists is the most important things. I prefer to be stuck in the bus for about 30 minutes before it moves further, than having a rock fall on my head later on. I am a patient tourist wanting to enjoy my holiday and not rushing anywhere. 🙂 I had the whole day to spend there, and a bit of inconvenience was not a big problem. Unfortunetly I could not say the same about my companion. Anyway the views I had later on made everything up! 🙂

After Hualian, where in the city itself there was not much to see, I went to Kenting. A city totally south. Before writing about Kenting a few more words about Hualien. The city is a good spot if you want to visit the Taroko National Park, and it has a big adventage as the locker is just next to the train station where you can leave your bag for almost the whole day. It does not cost a lot of money, I don’t even remember how much that was, but I remember it was open till 10 PM. So if you arrive in the morning, you can leave the bag there and go sightseeing. I do recommend the park, but as for the city itself it only has to offer an ocean coast. Anyway wandering around is still a good idea.

Kenting now, where there is another National Park, to be more specific – Kenting National Park. 🙂 I wasn’t even aware that I booked a hotel just next to its entrance. The idea occured to be great, as I am a person that loves walking around and admiring nature. In there I had a national park just around the corner. The hotel was 4 km up the hill from the city centre, however its owners were so kind that they would drive me down whenever I wanted to and pick me up when I wanted to come back. When you spend two nights in one place it means you have one full day for sightseeing. Mine started from the Kenting National Park, that had to offer lots of lovely landscapes. Some of its spots looked like jungles! Later on, in the afternoon, I went down to the city centre, as it was only 4 km away. I love walking, so I decided not to use the owners to drive me down, but I my own legs. Kenting city centre has several beaches. The weather that day was really nice, sunny, quite hot and there were not a lot of people by the beach, because it still was not a holiday season. I relaxed there, had some lunch and then went back to the beach to watch the sunset. Later on, when the evening started, I walked the main road, admired the night market, street food, and the area full of people where I still felt incredibly safe. In my opinion Kenting is a kind of a holiday spot for Taiwanese. To get there from Hualien wasn’t very easy, because first of all I had to take a train and then change it into a bus in Fangliao. I thought it would take me at least eight hours to get there. It occurred I managed to do so in six, so I cannot say that moving from one place to another in Taiwan takes very long time. For me it was bearable. In my opinion you can easily move from one city to another within this country.

So after spending two nights in Kenting I took a train north and got into Taichung. My last stop on my Taiwan trip to-see list with another couchsurfing experience. The host was incredible. Even though I was only one night in the city, as the next one I was taking a flight to the Philippines, he spent the whole day with me. And it was on a Monday! I arrived on a Sunday evening and completely did not expect my host to take a day off in order to hang around in the city with me. However he did. 🙂 In that case I did not have to put much effort into checking what to see in Taichung, because I already had a guide and this guide took me to a lovely and colourful village, and later on to the Gaomei Wetlands that I just loved from the beginning and they made a huge impression on me. There, for the first time, I saw so many crabs! What was also amazing was the fact that you could take a walk in the wetlands. Next to all these crabs, if you wanted to. It is a pity I did not manage to see the sunset there Maybe next time? My host also took me to a place where you could eat really good and cheap. That is why, if you see a city through a local’s eyes, you get to know much more about it. And you experience tasty food 🙂

And that was it. The same night I was taking a flight to the Philippines.

My overall impression about Taiwan is that it is very easy to move around there. The lockers are everywhere, so you can store your bag whatever you need to and just go sightseeing. I found them usually in subways and train stations. The biggest problem I had was finding bins in the cities, so the garbage I was usually keeping with me, in my small backpack. I did not want to throw it on a street as some Taiwanese do. Then I was either asking people in the shops to throw it away or taking it to the hotels/hosts. I found some trash bins at the stations, but cannot say that was enough. I am used to having bins every corner. Thank you Europe 🙂

Another thing I noticed was that buildings are very dirty. I would say they were built around 1950s, but looks like nobody ever renovated them and nobody cares. The dirt for sure comes from the dust or pollution around, but when it comes to the air I can’t say that you found it difficult to breathe in Taiwan or that cities are so polluted you have to wear a special mask. I didn’t observe anything like that.

What is very important, or even the most important to me, is that I felt incredibly safe. People were so helpful and kind, even though their English is not that good, that I could stay there. 🙂 It is amazing how well-developed the country is. I liked it very much, especially the EasyCard that you use not only in Taipei, but also in other cities. Such a card is centralised, and you do not need to figure out how to buy bus tickets or subway ones again in another city, as the card you already have works there. I really would like to have such an option within the country I live in. Who knows, now there is Schengen area that I just love, so maybe one day there will be Schengen transportation card? 🙂 I would love the idea 😀 I support all inventions that make people’s life easier!

When it comes to some surprises or something that could ruin my trip I wouldn’t say there was a lot. I could only mention the rain in the Yangmingshan National Park, what was a bit annoying, but I have no influence over the weather, and one day of rain really isn’t something that will make me feel sad or angry. Second thing that happened to me was a lady who gave wrong information. I know she didn’t do it on purpose. It was when I was going from Hualien to Kenting. She sold me two train tickets and said to change the train. What was interesting and funny about the second train ticket, was that the train number was the same on both. Time for a change was only about three minutes. Anyway I got off at the station she told me to, came up to conductor to figure out the second ticket and ask about the second part of my trip. To my surprise he said that the train I was supposed to take just left. I quickly realized I should have never left the train from the beginning of my trip. My lesson to be learnt – to listen more to myself and instead of guessing just ask over and over again till I get rid of all of my doubts. What was good in this situation, was that I did not have to buy another train ticket for the next train going to my destination. Conductor allowed me to take the next train using the ticket I already had. In Europe they would tell you to buy a new one And the second good thing was that the next train was within one hour. That means I did not have to wait long to reach my destination. It could have been bad, there could be only one train a day going to the place I wanted to go! And that’s all I could mention that did not go according to my plan. So really, nothing 🙂

Is the country expensive? That is a question very often asked by the travellers. For me it was not. Out of 8 nights I spent in Taiwan, 5 were couchsurfing, what means not paying for accommodation and in the same making my trip less expensive. Hotels cost me around 20 euros per night (breakfast included). When it comes to food, I would say for 10 euros you can eat a good dinner or lunch. When it comes to transportation, trains that I was taking to move from one city to another were about 10 to 15 euros for a distance of 200-300 km. Subway in Taipei and busses in Taichung depend on a distance you make. In Taichung if you move around within 10km it is even free!

So looking at how much time I spent there and what did not go according to my plan, I need to say everything went really smoothly in Taiwan. Is it easy to use its transportation, easy to get to information if you don’t allow any misunderstandings to happen, 😉 easy to find yourself when you’re lost, and very easy to do a round trip around Taiwan within 8 days. In my opinion everything is easy there, as their EasyCard is 🙂